Okay, so. I have been forcefully ignoring Twilight as a book series, film and general social craze since its inception. I briefly read a plot summary over skycornerless's shoulder when I was visiting her, and that was all I knew of it. I knew I was unimpressed, but that I wasn't the target audience, so live and let live, etc.

This weekend was miserable and I went to pick up some movies. I saw it on the shelf, and figured what the hell, it's time to take a look. If nothing else the production value looked pretty decent from what I'd seen of the trailers, and I love films set in the Pacific Northwest for sheer nostalgia value. Renting it was akin to renting porn; couldn't make eye contact at the counter, felt the need to offer mumbled excuses, etc.

Went home. Watched it. Was traumatized. For the record, I was fully prepared to enjoy it; I had mildly high hopes, being in general a huge fan of youth literature and so forth. But good god, really? I gave up on any hope of the ridiculous story pretty early in, but even as a film from a sheerly aesthetic value it was awful. I haven't seen plot that choppy or acting that terrible (I've never been a big Kristen Stewart fan, but this is the first time she actually made me want to take a fork to my eyeballs) in some time. And I recently watched My Name is Bruce.

At least the coast was beautiful, if sullied by emo-saturated bad acting and horrible vampire-fx.

So I sat down on the bus this morning and pulled out my book, and then this squat elderly woman sits down next to me and pulls out a Kindle. And proceeds to read a novel in Russian.

idk why this amuses me so much. The Reds have the Kindle!

This is probably redundant for most of you because Canadian films so rarely get American distribution, but I just got back from the sneak preview of Pontypool, the new horror flick from Canadian big name (oxymoron?) Bruce McDonald (Hard Core Logo, Roadkill, The Tracey Fragments). Now, we all know I'm a sucker for a good zombie movie, but this one had a unique twist. Rather than a virus transmitted by blood and saliva, the mindless drones in Pontypool spread their infection through the English language. Yes, it was a semiotic zombie film. It got a little cerebral at times - I think a linguistics degree would have helped - but otherwise it was an intense, creative spin on the genre and I advise anyone who might have the opportunity to check it out. It should be getting a limited release across Canada later this month, and otherwise... idk, download?

I just saw Julie kick Tom Cruise in the face.

True story.

It has been pointed out to me that I may not yet have sufficiently extolled the virtues of one of my favorite indie comics, Scott Pilgrim*. This series from Bryan Lee O'Malley follows the life of a slacker musician in Toronto who falls in love with an American delivery girl and needs to defeat her seven evil ex-boyfriends to win her heart. It largely draws on pop culture, especially early 90's video games, and is one of the greatest things ever. The fact that most of the action takes place within blocks of my house is an added bonus. I highly recommend it go on all of your Christmas lists. THERE'S STILL TIME!

*It is mildly infuriating that the Publishers Weekly blurb on Amazon lists the book as taking place in a 'cold, unnamed Canadian town'. IT IS TORONTO. It features all the prominent landmarks of the city! It states the location OFTEN! Uhg.

PS - A few pages.

PPS - The movie version has been cast and is in pre-production, directed by Edgar Wright (Sean of the Dead) and starring Micheal Cera (Juno) as Scott. So read 'em before that's released!

This bit of news is sort of freaking me out a little bit. I mean, it's a ridiculously exciting notion if they do it right, but the odds, they are rarely very good. Then again, with Snyder having given/giving us hope for these sorts of medium shifts, maybe there's a glimmer? It'll also just be horribly surreal, seeing the theme we largely borrowed from for FT visualized. Given the number of characters we had, you just know a couple PBs are going to show up in some jarringly inaccurate way...

Also, this has horribly amused me ever since Emily linked me to it.

OMFG GUYS.

Seriously. Watch it.

I almost forgot: this was previewed before Slumdog Millionaire, and I think it looks freaking amazing.

Bollywood, I invite you into my life with open arms!

HEAR YE HEAR YE, the following are films that I, in my infinite wisdom, declare to be awesome, and in dire need of your patronage. I promise 110% satisfaction or you get Sarah's soul, for what it's worth...

First is Swedish film Let the Right One In, a very dark, moving story about a socially ostracized twelve year old boy who befriends the vampire girl 'his age' that moved in next door. Unexpectedly, it's a very touching coming of age romance, interspersed with well timed horror elements. The atmosphere is perfectly creepy, the child actors are spectacular, and the violence perfectly understated. It's only received a limited release in North America, so if you see it playing near you, catch it while you can! The best thing to come out of Scandinavia since Julie.

Next is Slumdog Millionaire, the new film from Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later). It follows an orphaned street beggar who becomes a contestant on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, and explains through flashbacks the series of incredible events in his life that allowed him to get all the answers. It might sound cheesy what with the gameshow framework, but it's incredibly acted and a stunning social and geographical tour of India, and what's more, the best romantic film I've seen since Once.

Finally the film I just stepped out of: Repo! The Genetic Opera. A rock opera based on the stage play of the same name, set in a futuristic dystopia where designer organs can be repossessed if you can't make the payments. It's visceral, campy, ridiculous, and most importantly, stars Anthony Stewart Head in the lead, as the Repo Man. The whole cast was great, with the exception of a trying-too-hard-for-irony Paris Hilton, but it's going to be up there in the cult classic canon in no time. Also having a very limited release, so keep your eyes out!

Now I go to bed, with Genetic Emancipation stuck in my head...

Uhg. Someone help. What is the name for when you have a word on the tip of your tongue, but can't think of it? I know it's the Tip of the Tongue Phenomenon (TOT), but I swear there's another term for it.

HALP HALP I NEED A WORD GEEK

Okay, I am ridiculously pleased with myself, and I am going to unabashedly co-opt this forum to glee about it for a minute.

Recently a friend and I decided that we, like most, were very excited about Quantum of Solace, and that it might be interesting to look into renting a theatre to watch it in without near & dear. It was a vaguely drunken notion I didn't expect to come to fruition, till on a whim we met with the manager of a local indie cinema, and were told that if we met a certain quota, we could have our own theatre for a midnight screening.

Thus we set about trying to figure out if we could pull in the minimum number of forty people, and ultimately decided that even if we couldn't, it'd be worth paying the surplus just for the experience. FLASH FORWARD TWO WEEKS: a sold out theatre, 125 tickets sold, a long wait list, corporate sponsorship, and a whole club/lounge literally given to us to host the pre-event in. I did not even suspect we would have this kind of success, but the whole thing went off without a hitch - I had total strangers tracking me down to try and get on the list to this event. We had a packed house in a trendy downtown venue, a great evening, great costumes, and ultimately, a rousing success.

Guys, if I'm not a superstar filmmaker in the next two years, I'm just going to become an event planner. Hell, I think I'll keep doing it on the side, in the meantime.

( Bond. James Bond. )

OH YEAH, and the movie was freaking amazing too.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

This is news which fills me with equal parts apprehension and elation. Midnight's Children is one of my favorite works of literature ever, but it really shouldn't be made into a movie. It just shouldn't. Then again, I said the same thing about Watchmen, and yet I can't resist giddy excitement any time I see another promising screen grab. PLUS, if anyone's going to do it justice, I have a helluva lot of faith on Mehta to tackle this project, especially collaboratively.

To summarize my complex blend of roiling emotions: OMG.

EDIT: Uhg. Proving that every action requires an equal and opposite reaction, this fills me with dread and skepticism.

So I'm a bit tardy on an election-related post, but I figure my experience was worth noting, being in Canada and all. A local indie cinema by my house actually put streaming CNN (interspersed with Indecision) on their screen and opened the venue to all comers, and let me tell you, that house was packed. There were lineups around the corner in both directions, and the energy was incredible. I mean, it's not even our election, but here were people turning out in droves to cheer and celebrate and indulge in a very amusing Sarah Palin lookalike contest slash burlesque show.

It really felt historic. And to drive the point home, I just saw this for the first time, and it's been making me smile nonstop ever since. Way to go, America.

So I just finished reading Michael Chabon's Maps & Legends, an excellent collection of literary essays that Emily sent me a while back, because she's pretty awesome. In addition to making me glee over his championing of genre fiction and his love of comic books, Chabon's a pretty damn persuasive writer; whilst reading I found myself buying two other books on his say-so, namely McCarthy's The Road and a collection of Sherlock stories, which I realized with horror I've never really read.

But more importantly, he wowed me with his expansive vocabulary; I found myself having to keep an ever-growing list of words to look up when I got the chance. This list grew a bit epic, and now I wish to share it with you all before hitting dictionary.com, to see if anyone can thoroughly shame me with your superior knowledge:

( The Mystery Lexicon! )

ATTENTION AMERICAN PIG DOGS

So the show I've been working on for the past few months, Time Warp, debuts tonight. Unfortunately it does so only on the American version of the Discovery Channel, so I can't even watch it. If anyone happens to be lazing about at 8 PM, tune in and let me know how it all turns out...

Not that I haven't seen the stupid thing enough times.

CANADA HAS NO DICTIONARY!

IT'S ANARCHY I TELL YOU, ANARCHY! THERE IS LOOTING AND CHAOS! PEOPLE ARE ACTING LIKE BANDERFLOGS! IS THAT EVEN A WORD!?!? WHO EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE

Seriously though. This makes me sad.

Stolen from Sarah:

1. My uncle once: Was institutionalized for chronic bank robbery (with toy guns each time).
2. Never in my life will I: Smoke a cigarette.
3. When I was five: I broke my arm trying to leap over a small creek - on Mother's Day.
4. High school was: Largely forgettable.
5. I will never forget: Standing in Beijing on Chinese New Year the first time in over a decade fireworks had been re-legalized.
6. Once I met: Jessica Alba
7. There’s this boy I know: His name is Jesus. He loves you.
8. Once, at a bar: I drank an entire bottle of absynth and woke up covered in cigarette burns. Oh, Prague.
9. By noon, I’m usually: Asleep or heavily caffeinated - there is no in between.
10. Last night: I became a partner in my first business venture.
11. If only I had: Super powers.
12. Next time I go to church: Will be Christmas Eve.
13. What worries me most: Zombies. No, seriously.
14. When I turn my head left I see: A bamboo plant I'm slowly killing.
15. When I turn my head right I see: A calendar of Hollywood icons (this month features Alfred Hitchcock and James Stewart)
16. You know I’m lying when: I'm speaking about anything other than my feelings.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Feste, from Twelfth Night.
19. By this time next year: I will be President.
20. A better name for me would be: Parker.
21. I have a hard time understanding: Politics.
22. If I ever go back to school: I'll have forgotten everything and need to start all over again.
23. You know I like you if: I pull your hair. Oh, the classics...
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: Anyone who bought shares in my 'thank you speech' conceptual real estate. On sale now!
25. Take my advice, never: Think you can outwit Las Vegas.
27. A song I love but do not have is: 'Time to Pretend' by MGMT
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: Go snowboarding. Breath deep. Try the sushi.
29. Why won’t people: Accept responsibility for their own emotional well-being.
30. If you spend a night at my house: Be prepared for all the urban aural ambiance you can handle.
31. I’d stop my wedding for: The opportunity to elope instead.
32. The world could do without: Reality television.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: have to fathom a situation in which this would be the better of two options.
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Brunettes now.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: Pretty much anything, according to MacGyver.
36. If I do anything well it’s: Probably not worth doing.
37. I can’t help but: Fill these things with a minimum of 75% sarcastic answers.
38. I usually cry: On the inside.
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: Worship me and you'll secure a place in the afterworld.
40. And by the way: I got paid to do this meme. And now it's quittin' time!

ZOMG, I managed to score VIP tix to the gala premiere of the new Korean 'kimchee western' The Good, The Bad, The Weird tomorrow night at TIFF. This is exciting because the film stars, among others, Byung-Hun Lee.

WHICH MEANS

I may get to meet Sebastian Han. :D